Is laziness even real?
How I realised it wasn’t laziness but a deeper need.
Sometimes I am lazy, not resting lazy, but stuck in a rut of doing nothing productive lazy. Yet I found myself thinking about what this laziness is, as it didn’t feel good and I was desperate to get out of the cycle.
The word lazy is so full of judgement. I remember a friend once said to me that Laziness is a puritanical myth, based on the sin of idleness and has been used to oppress people and force them into labour.
Usually the judgement of laziness comes from oneself, sometimes it may also come from others, mainly when we are children, which is how the judgement comes to grow within us and is then used against us, by us. But one of the big things I have learnt on this path of being human, is that harsh criticism of oneself, doesn’t get one anywhere.
Instead it acts like a suppressant, it suppresses my energy as I wallow in guilt and shame, it adds to the fear and anxiety which strengthens that so called laziness. But when I can be kind to myself, listen to myself and hear what’s needed, I have a greater chance of shifting, growing and alchemising.
I have come to see that I am strong and I struggle, these two things coexist together, which can be confusing but it also means that while Im struggling, I do have a chance to access my strength and my wisdom too. I have a chance of conversing with myself and getting a sense of whats really under the behaviour.
When Im in that lazy zone, Im not doing anything productive, not resting, not creating, not even giving myself time to breathe. Usually instead, Im finding ways to zone out, or numb out and it leads me to anxiety and guilt which makes me want to hide.
I knew that I really wanted to do better, but that it’s sometimes a struggle. The solution wasn’t to criticise and crack the whip while shouting ‘you must work harder’ into my mind.
Instead I knew I needed a new perspective.
When laziness next entered my bones, I decided not to judge or criticise myself, but instead remained curious and asked myself - Do I need rest? more inspiration? Am I overwhelmed and need space, or am I denying myself something I want or need because I don’t think I deserve it? Am I frightened due to old stories of failure or of being seen?
One of the things that we often forget about lazy is that it doesn't feel good. And to be clear here, I'm not talking about when we're relaxing and recovering. What I'm talking about is when we're trapped on the couch, when we feel like we should be doing, but we just can't seem to make ourselves take that next step.
It feels like stagnancy, paralysis, fear and it can make it feel like our self worth plummets. So the question here is why would I want to be lazy if it doesn't feel good? Why am I doing it?
Most of the time I justify it by thinking that the future me will do an incredible amount of work and get it all done and not only that, it will be amazing. But the real truth is, the future me is not going to be any different from current me if I keep on this track.
The trap of laziness is for me, often a sign of overwhelm. And sometimes it’s because Im thinking with cathedral thinking; thinking big. Imaging the end result, the end goal and it’s too much. But when I think of things in small steps, one breath at a time, I have hope of mobilising myself.
Listen to the body seems to always be the answer to everything, and start small.
What do I have to do right now?
Because we can get paralysed when we're thinking too far ahead. If we think too huge, it lands us right where we are in fear, paralyses and stagnancy.
Labeling ourselves as lazy here, doesn't help because we're not lazy. We just need a little bit more help sometimes. We just need to do things a little bit differently.
What's the point of a label, if it doesn't describe what's actually going on. If it helps, we can think of lazy, more like a symptom. If you're feeling lazy, that's fine. But what's making you feel that way.
The label of lazy can make us feel trapped because there's no cure for lazy, but when we can find the underlying issue that causes lazy, it can free us to actually start moving again, whether thats towards rest, inspiration, help, self care, sleep or creating.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep. - Rumi
Reminder of our Online New Moon Gathering
Just putting in a little reminder for our next new moon online gathering on the 2nd of October - Theme: Autumn and the descent.
This is a contemplative practise based on the descent of autumn followed by some writing practise together as a way of exploring what arose through the journey of decent.
A link to the online gathering will be sent to all paid subscribers a week before the event.
I can really relate to this. I live in France now and the French say "j'ai la flemme" which is literally translated as "I have the laziness" which I love. It is like saying I have a headache, or I have a cold, it feels temporary and something that needs care and time to recover from. My husband and I often use it instead of the English description as it just feels kinder.
I’ve just exhaled … thank you 🙏🏼