Connection

Rose and the story they carry for our hearts

May 28, 2023

Hello you lovely folk,

Welcome to this Sundays connection letter.

Right now, in the season where I am living, roses are blooming. Full, open and rich with story and medicine. Seeing the roses on the land, rambling on walls or in hedgerows has made me want to share with you the beautiful story and metaphor rose brings into the world, for it was one that has been quite potent for me. I love the stories plants bring from just the way they present in the world.

But first a little background on roses medicine-

When I gently plunge my nose into the folds and soft petals of a rose in full bloom, the scent always seems to whisper that ‘all will be alright’ in a visceral language that goes straight to my heart and nervous system.

From just the moment of smelling the scent, the medicine of rose is revealed; a grounded loving presence and a soft cool hand that reaches into hearts and steadies them, smoothing the edges and relaxing anxiety.

One of the many things I love about using plants, is that they don’t do something to us that we don’t know how to do, they remind us of what we are capable of, they show us ways of being that we lost somewhere along the way. They ally with us, partner with us rather than force or create something unnatural. They hold our hands and guide us to wholeness, reminding us that we too are part of the medicine, part of the cure.

And they bring us closer to the parts of us we may have blocked off from, concreted over or lost connection with. When I take a medicine for my nervous system, I start to know, feel and become aware of my nervous system. When I take a plant for rest I start to become intimate with my ability to rest, when I take a plant for my liver I acknowledge, become aware of and feel my liver more.

And when I take rose, I become more intimate with my heart.

For rose is a medicine for the physical, emotional and spiritual heart, and the plant teaches us a lot about the beauty and power of our hearts.

Rose reminds us of the nourishment and grounding we can receive from our hearts when we actually choose to inhabit our heart space. Rose guides us to the heart through relaxing the space around it and soothing the nervous system of the heart and the nervous system of the body. Rose helps to not only steady, calm and soothe the heart and nerves, but also makes us more aware of our heart space by softening the tightening and the rigidity.

Rose works beautifully for those who, because of factors, events and stresses in their life, may have tried to block off from their heart for fear of feeling. Rose is especially potent for those who are going through grief, who have experienced sexual abuse, a breaking of boundaries, who lack self love and self respect or have anxiety. As all of these things can lead people to not inhabit their heart, and to feel deeply unsafe in their bodies.

Rose shows us, that the medicine we need, especially in the difficult and the edgy times, is found in the heart and not in locking ourselves out of the heart space.

But the one particular story that rose taught me, is one that had a lasting effect on me, and its about roses thorns.

I was once working with a group of people and we were working with rose. A woman said to me “If rose is all about love, self love and the heart, how come it has these thorns?”

And so I explored this question, and this is what I understood from spending time with this medicinal and potent plant.

To be like rose, and feel safe enough to be in our hearts, to inhabit our heart space and to feel safe in the world, to be open, soft, intimate and sensual, we need to have strong boundaries, we need to have a good ‘no’ we need to know that we have our own backs, and that we are taking care of our bodies, our needs, our relationships.

All too often in our culture, we are taught that we cant be both kind and fierce or strong and soft, or loving and firm, or nice and boundaried at the same time. Yet if we are not both things held together, both ends of the scales holding hands, then we are out of balance and likely to be walked over, squashed, scared and anxious.

And rose also teaches that just because rose is open, sensual and beautiful, it doesnt mean we should ever grab.

“But he who dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.”
―Anne Bronte

Yet unfortunately, roses are now being bred with no thorns and the smell is almost nothing due to being grown too fast, and so we often miss the beautiful metaphorical story that rose has to offer us for our own lives.

This thornless form, is such a reflection on how so many people are grown to be thornless too. Children are pressured to be without boundaries, and it can leave them to grow into adults who believe boundaries to be mean, and so we cut our thorns off each day in order to be more pleasing, easier and likeable. Yet in reality, it builds resentment, misunderstanding and a feeling that no one understands us, or cares for us as they don’t hear the ‘no’ we never say.

Rose shows us that boundaries are necessary if we want to feel safe to be in our hearts, the scent of rose is so grounding and kind, that it reminds me of those I know who do have great boundaries, who always seem to me, to be the most compassionate people I know and I feel relief in their presence, for I know they are more truthful in their needs and so I deeply trust their ‘yes’ and appreciate their ‘no’.

Over the years, spending time learning how to build my own boundaries inspired by rose, has made me feel safer inside myself and safer in the world, and it has absolutely helped me to be more in my heart.

So it’s worth remembering rose and sticking your nose in her folds and breathing her in, or to marvel at her beauty and her strength and let it paint a picture in you that reminds you of the beauty of being in our hearts and that when wanting to be soft, to be more in our hearts, to grow new ways, we need to have a good healthy boundaries.

Softness and heartfulness are not about releasing and disintegrating our strength and our boundaries, but instead, growing them.

Ever since learning this, when ever I make a rose tincture or elixir for someone who lacks boundaries, I make it with the flower and the thorns, a beautiful blend of soft love and strong love.

Thank you for reading Connection with Brigit Anna McNeill. If you have enjoyed it feel free to share with others that may feel the same.

HOW TO USE ROSE

You can use any rose, and all of the rose, just be careful not to use heavily sprayed ones.
The stronger the smell the stronger the medicine.
Make tinctures, elixirs (see video below), oils, creams, salves, foods, chocolates, bath soak (see below), dry for teas, and if you wear a bra, it can be lovely to stuff it with petals as a symbol of self love!

THINGS OF INTEREST

June the 4th is our next online gathering! I’m really looking forward to it, here is the post about it if you missed it.
Brene Brown on boundaries